Variance
by eaemilia
Summary: Sometimes, Serenity regrets her relationship with Endymion, but in the end, she can never leave him.
1. Chapter 1

Serenity wants it to end. She knows she loves Endymion and that he feels the same, but she can't stand the sneaking around.

The constant looking over her shoulder as she escapes to Earth and tries to enjoy being with Endymion, and the guilt she feels whenever she looks at one of her Senshi. She can't even look Venus in the eye anymore.

But just seeing Endymion makes her so unbearably, indescribably happy. Even though there's always a knot of guilt and worry sitting in her stomach, she needs to go back to him and just bask in his presence.

More than anything, Serenity would like to reveal their relationship to her mother, but for now she knows it is impossible.

So she resorts to sneaking out of the palace and on to Earth. It hurts her that meeting with the man she loves is illegal, and she's contemplated leaving him so many times.

But the second she's wrapped up in his arms, Serenity knows she can't do that. She just loves him so much, and for just a few brief seconds, every worry is pushed out of her, and she wants nothing more than to stay like that for the rest of her life, safe and secure with the one she loves with no royal duties or obligations hanging over her head.

They aren't the moon princess and the Earth prince, enemies.

They're just Serenity and Endymion, lovers.

In that moment, it's enough.


	2. Chapter 2

It begins like this: Serenity is leaning over a flower, its petals the palest shade of pink, marveling the beauty of Earth. It is, in every conceivable way, the polar opposite of the moon, and her senses are singing as she embraces the difference, when the hairs on the back of her neck stand up, and looking over her shoulder, she is greeted by the sight of a man.

It ends like this: The moon is dead, and Endymion is dead, and she is dying, and so is everyone else. In that moment, she hates Endymion more than anyone else, even more than Beryl and Metalia, and wishes she had run far, far away when she had caught him looking at her, even if her days with him had been some of the best.


	3. Chapter 3

Time stops when Serenity is with Endymion. The sun beating down on her bare skin, the grass tickling her flesh, and Endymion all of around her: his fingers in her hair, heart beating beneath her ear, the scent of him lingering over her, nothing matters outside the pure sensation that Earth fills her with.

Venus's looks every time they see each other, her other friends' worries about her, her mother pressuring her to begin acting like the princess she should be instead of running off, the guilt that fills her every time she leaves the moon or returns to it. None of that matters, none of that is real.

It is just the sun, the grass, and Endymion in a timeless haze.


	4. Chapter 4

"Serenity." It is Venus calling out to her, sword at her hip and determination written across her face.

"Yes?" Serenity asks a look of what she hopes passes for perfect innocence on her face.

Venus walks, or perhaps 'stalks' is the better word, up to her, and as she gets closer, Serenity can see the fear in her eyes. Leaning in close, she says, "You need to stop going there."

"What are you talking about, Venus?" Serenity asks bemusedly.

"Earth," Venus says in a whisper. "You need to stop going to Earth."

"I don't know you're talking about Venus. I would never go there, you know that." She laughs as she speaks, as if the thought of doing something as reckless as that is the funniest thing in the world. Serenity shakes her head. "You're being silly. Maybe you should try getting some more sleep."

"Serenity—" Venus tries to speak again, tries to get her princess to listen to her, but Serenity cuts her off with a "I really don't know what you're talking about, are you feeling okay?" and then turns her back on her.

She's still laughing a little as she walks away, Venus glaring at her back, and her heart ready to burst out of her chest it's beating so hard.

Because Venus knows, and that changes everything.

But Endymion is still waiting for her on Earth, and she can't just leave him, so really, it changes nothing in the end.


	5. Chapter 5

"Hello," he says, a handsome smile on his handsome face.

"Hello," Serenity replies fear filling her every vein, and she wonders if perhaps she won't make it back to the Moon after all.

But no men jump out from behind trees, he doesn't threaten her even though it is obvious that she is not from Earth, he just says, "It's a lovely day isn't it?"

She stutters out an agreement, and for a second silence reigns. He smiles, she stares.

And then something clicks, and she runs and runs and runs until she is back on the Moon and can hide in her room from the Earth and the too handsome men that lurk there.

Later, she'll regret that she ever stopped running, she'll regret that she ever let Jupiter lure her out of her room with the promise of delicious food, but she doesn't know what happens next, so two days later she returns to Earth and the man with the handsome smile on his handsome face.

And she'll keep returning to it, until he dies and she dies and the world dies, and only then will she wish that he hadn't had such a handsome smile or handsome face.


	6. Chapter 6

Endymion is the source of all of her comfort these days. Everything about him is warming and welcoming and soothing. Coming to him is like coming home.

Serenity had never thought that she would ever find a person like Endymion let alone need one. She has seen people in love before but had never thought that she would ever have a relationship like that. Her mother had never been married, so it had never made sense to Serenity that she ever would. Besides, it wasn't like she needed a husband not when she had her friends, unlike Venus who wanted more than anything to find love.

But then she had fallen into Endymion.

He is everything that she had always wanted but had never known that she wanted. The way he laughed and joked, his smile, the way their personalities and opinions matched and flowed together. He fit her so well like a pair of puzzle pieces coming together.

Her friends, her mother, her home, everything else in her life are just the puzzle pieces that she had tried to match up to her own piece only to discover that they didn't match at all.

But while Serenity could just discard them in favor of Endymion, they didn't want to leave her. Instead they stayed behind, lingering around her and anxiety clawing at her throat every time she sees one of them. It is a horrible, sickening feeling that makes her feel weak and ready to collapse and a pack of riotous butterflies fight in her stomach every time she is forced to interact with one of them. Every time she sees one of them, she wonders if maybe this won't be the time when she is finally caught.

Venus already knows about her trips. Serenity is not foolish enough to believe that Venus believed her lies, and even if she had been the looks she gives her whenever they see each other would have quickly proved her wrong. She is only lucky that Venus hasn't managed to get her alone again, but it is only a matter of time.

As it stands, Venus is the only one who knows for sure, but it won't stay that way for long. Mars has been making references to visions she has been having about Earth, and Mercury is sure to see through the ruse soon enough. Jupiter may not be as intelligent as Mercury or see into the future like Mars, but she isn't an idiot either, and she knows Serenity too well to fall for her lies for forever.

Everything seems to be falling apart around her. There is no way that Serenity can continue on like this forever. No way that she can prevent everyone from not finding out.

If she stops seeing Endymion, everything will be fine, but how can she give him up now?

Everything in her life will be easier if she leaves him, and she is sure that it will be the same for him, but she can't leave him now.

Endymion ruins everything, but he is the only thing keeping her together. He is her source of strength and her source of comfort, and how can she live when she knows what she is missing out on?

Before, she didn't know what she was missing, but if she leaves him now, she would know.

Pulling Endymion closer to her, she takes comfort in him despite knowing that this will have to end soon but unwilling to give it up just yet.


	7. Chapter 7

"What are we going to do about the future?" Serenity asks him one day. It's not that she really wants to think about it; it's that she feels constantly anxious these days as she just waits and waits for her world to come crashing down around her.

"The future?" Endymion repeats confusion filling his voice and his face.

"The future. We can't keep going on like this." She would like to, he would like to, but she doesn't need Mars's premonitions to know that that is impossible. They are stuck, in a crossroads of sorts. They can either break off everything and move on with their lives, attempting to forget the past few months, or they can reveal everything and deal with the massive fallout that will inevitably follow.

"Oh," he says and tension fills his body. He is wound tight, tighter than she has ever seen anyone wound before. "Do we really have to talk about that now?"

She wants to say yes, demand action and action now. They will determine their fates and their futures here and now, and they will have no regrets.

But she can feel him, so tense and tight against her, and she is afraid, afraid of everything and everyone, but mostly of the future, so she says, "No."

Endymion relaxes instantly, laughter and smiles returning to him, and a smile crosses her own face even as she feels sick, sicker than she ever has before.

But they can worry about the future another day, she hopes.


	8. Chapter 8

Serenity loves the mountains more than anything else on Earth. They are majestic and imposing, and when she is on top of them, all of the world is laid out in front of her.

The first time Endymion took her to the top of one was the day she realized that she was in love with him.

So when he takes her to the top of one again, she is filled with giddiness. Something is going to happen, she can feel it in the air and see it in the way Endymion moves.

She spends the entire date just waiting for what he is going to tell her, and anticipation kills every worry. Nothing can go wrong. Everything is perfect, every kiss, every touch, and her toes curl at the thought of what he may propose.

"Serenity," he says, whispering her name worshipfully as he pulls away from kissing her, his lips swollen and her heart ready to explode as he continues speaking, "I'm getting married."

"What?" she says confusion crushing the cloud of bliss that had surrounded her.

"I'm getting married. My father arranged an engagement for me."

"Oh," she says. Her heart is breaking, shattering into a thousand fragments. "Maybe it's for the best." The lie is bitter on her lips, but she offers him a smile anyway, and he returns it. There is relief in it, and that just makes the fragments of her heart deep into her flesh even deeper.


	9. Chapter 9

Seeing Venus is what breaks her. Serenity had managed not to cry after Endymion had told her of the engagement, and she had managed not to cry when she returned to the Moon, but when Venus walks into her room that morning, tears erupt from her eyes.

Venus knows the exact cause and even as she hugs Serenity, giving her the comfort she so desperately needs, Serenity knows what she is thinking: that it is for the best.

She had said the same thing last night to Endymion, and she had been telling herself the same thing ever since, and maybe, in the future, it will be true, but for now, everything hurts.

And though it hurts to know that Venus is just a little bit happy about her misery, that she finally stopped going to Earth like Venus wanted her to, she is the only one Serenity can turn to. Because she is the only one who knows anything at all, and maybe the only one who can help Serenity heal.

So even though Venus makes her hurt just a bit more, Serenity can only cling to her and cry.


	10. Chapter 10

In her dreams, Serenity returns to her earliest days with Endymion. Every time she had gone to Earth, her stomach would be filled with butterflies, the result of her fear that one day Endymion would betray her. But he never did. Nothing ever happened, nothing that would even remotely indicate that he was less than loyal to her, and slowly the butterflies transitioned from those born of fear to those born of love.

And apparently, he had felt the same way because one day he had kissed her, slow and sweet. And that, more than anything else had doomed her. Before, she could have left Earth behind, the memories just those of a daring adventure with a slightly unconventional friend. But after the kiss, it became love, and love is far harder to leave behind.

That kiss is a nightmare now; it repeats over and over in her dreams, so sweet and pure, and then she wakes up and remembers that Endymion is gone. He is engaged to an Earth woman, and he can't throw that away for his fling from the Moon.

Serenity wonders if perhaps she was just a distraction, a fun time for him until he had to get married, and now that that is happening, he can throw her away. She would like to think not. She'd like to think that Endymion's emotions had been real, that he had really wanted to be with her. But maybe, she was just a bit fun in a bored prince's life, a particularly exotic mistress who in the end meant nothing.

It's easier almost, to think of it like that though. That she is nothing to him. Because then he never loved her at all, and she can hate him for deceiving her instead of pining after him. But in her heart of hearts, she can't believe that and knows it isn't true. Endymion looked as devastated as she felt that day, but despite their feelings, their affair can't go on. Guilt would destroy her if it did. Even if they are in love, it would still be wrong for them to destroy his marriage.

So instead of running back to Endymion and begging him to come back to her, she lies in her bed, tears leaking out of her eyes, dreaming of kisses and regretting them upon waking.


	11. Chapter 11

"Serenity," Venus calls, her voice like a whisper in the wind.

Lifelessly, Serenity turns over in her bed and looks at her friend. Despite always being the one wanting to plan out the future, to figure out where they were going, she is now desperately unhappy that Endymion has left her. Perhaps it is because he is the one who broke it off, not her. Or perhaps it is simply because they are no longer together. "Yes?" she says.

"I have something to tell you," she says coming to kneel by the bed. "I was part of the reason why Endymion got engaged."

"What?" Serenity gasps sitting up.

"I was worried about you, so I went to Earth. I met a man there, Kunzite. He was close to the prince and worried about him too, and we talked and decided that we needed to make sure things ended between you two, so he convinced the king to arrange Endymion's marriage."

Despite the anger growing in her heart, Serenity is calm as she speaks: "You will go to Earth, and you will meet with Kunzite, and you will arrange a meeting for all four of us, and you will tell him what you have done."

Venus does not even try to protest.


	12. Chapter 12

The sun is exceptionally bright that day. It is the wrong sort of weather for the kind of meeting they are having, she thinks as she watches as Endymion tries to make sense of what he has been told. Serenity's heart is breaking as she watches him process it all; confusion, betrayal, anger all running across his face as him comes to terms with it.

And yet, she is happy too, so maybe the sunny weather does fit. Because now that Endymion is aware of the fact that his supposedly loyal friend has sabotaged his relationship, there is hope for her.

Because maybe, just maybe, he will decide to end the engagement based on manipulation and return to her.

She knows it is wrong to be thinking that way, but Serenity doesn't even try and stop the hope welling up inside of her.


	13. Chapter 13

"Let's get married," Endymion says taking Serenity's hands in between his.

"What?" she says at the same time as Kunzite and Venus.

"Let's get married," he repeats.

"But your engagement," Serenity says in protest even though all she wants to do is say yes. She doesn't want to look too eager, even though marriage to Endymion is perhaps the thing she wants most in the world.

"It doesn't matter," he says. "We'll deal with that all later. For now I just want to marry you."

"But where will we get married?"

"There's a temple near here, and the priest there will be sure to marry us. We can worry about everything else later," he declares. "So, will you marry me?"

"Yes," she says with tears in her eyes.


	14. Chapter 14

Elysion is the name of the place where they get married. It is beautiful there, more so than any other place that Serenity has ever seen. The land thrums with life and the air has a green scent to it, the one she associates with living, growing things. It is lovely and simple and beautiful, and it seems like the very best sort of place to get married.

And as Helios, the priest, preforms the ceremony, Serenity knows that she will never regret this. No matter what else happens, she will always be happy with this.

There are a few things she would change if she could. All of her friends would be here to celebrate with her and her mother as well. She is glad that Venus is there because even though Venus is the cause of their breakup, she is also part of the reason why they are now marrying. And she is, above all, Serenity's best friend.

Even though neither Venus nor Kunzite truly want to be there and don't approve of the marriage no matter how much they want their friends' happiness, they are still there, and they are still the witnesses, and for now, that is enough for both her and Endymion.

As they exchange vows, Endymion whispers in her ear, "I will always be faithful to you, and I will always love you."

It is not, perhaps, how she envisioned her wedding. There is no grand fanfare, it is in all regards microscopic, and even though they are married, they can't reveal their love just yet, but it is perfect in its own way.

"I love you so much," she says as he leans down to kiss her.


	15. Chapter 15

The look on Endymion's face is the same one she imagines was on her face the first time she saw Earth. While the Moon lacks any true appeal for Serenity, she can understand why he is so enthralled by it.

Taking his hand, she says, "This way." He jumps a bit as she speaks, too enthralled by the cold splendor of the Moon to pay attention to his surroundings. "We have to go to the palace." She sounds calm, and that surprises her because she can't remember ever being so afraid in her life. Telling her mother that she has gotten married is not something that should terrify her, but when she considers her choice of groom, it's hard not to be.

As they walk to the palace, Venus following them like a shadow, Endymion cranes his neck trying to see everything that they walk by. Watching him fills her with little bursts of joy that help negate a bit of the fear. But Endymion can't solve everything, and when she stands in front of her mother, she is alone.

"Serenity," her mother says, perpetually regal, "who is this?" she asks as she looks Endymion over. Maybe she can tell just by looking at him that he was from Earth.

"My husband," Serenity says, her voice soft.

"Your husband?"

"Yes, my husband," she says, "His name is Endymion, and he is the prince of Earth."

Her mother is silent, and that terrifies Serenity more than anything else. Anger can be dealt with, can be understood, but silence can mean almost anything.

"Well, I don't remember being invited to a wedding, Serenity. We will have to remedy that," she says with a smile.

"Really?" Serenity asks as hope blooms in her heart.

"Of course," she says. "I'm sure that our people would be very upset if they were unable to see their princess marry."

"Thank you," Endymion says.

The queen smiles. "You are welcome, Endymion. We will have to talk later, all three of us. I would like to hear about just how you met and how you managed to get married."

"Of course, Mother," Serenity says, the sinking feelings returning to her stomach, but even that can't overwhelm how happy she is right now.


	16. Chapter 16

"I'll see you again soon," Endymion tells her between kisses. He has to leave, to see his father and inform him about their marriage. She wants to go with him, but he is adamant in his decision to go alone. He doubts that things will go nearly as smoothly with his father as they did with her mother. From everything he has told her, she has learned that his father is a hard, pragmatic man who does love his son and his people, but expects them all to do as he says.

"I know," Serenity says a bit breathless. "I just don't want to let you go." She hasn't told him so, but she is just a bit afraid that his father will make them divorce. Endymion is convinced that he can win him over though, so she places all of her faith in him. This is their last battle, and she has to trust him to win it for them.

He smiles even more than he already is. "Don't worry, soon we won't have to say goodbye ever again. We'll be able to stay together for forever."

Serenity could cry at the thought of forever with him. It's more than anything she had ever hoped for, more than anything she deserved, but everything is falling into place and their future is guaranteed. And so, with a last hug and kiss she lets him go back to Earth.


	17. Chapter 17

Her mother may not have passed any judgment on her, but that doesn't mean that no one else refrains from doing so. It is the stares and the awkward silences that follow her everywhere that tells her everything she needs to know. Despite the fact that everything is supposed to be coming together and everything is supposed to be perfect, she feels more alone than ever before. Even her friends have abandoned her. Mars is colder than usual and consumed with some arcane project, from what Serenity has heard, Jupiter has managed to send half of the army to the infirmary, and Mercury has locked herself away in the library to do research with strict orders not to disturbed unless it is a matter of state security.

The only one who has stayed by her side is Venus, and she is surrounded by a shroud of shame.

"What's happened?" Serenity asks her.

"We've failed."

"What do you mean?"

"We were supposed to protect you, and we failed. You weren't supposed to have even met Endymion, let alone married him. Mars, Mercury, and Jupiter didn't even know what you were doing, and I couldn't stop you from doing anything. How can we look at you, or anyone else, when we let you break the biggest taboo there is?"

Serenity has nothing to say to that. She has always known that her relationship would affect her, but she had never thought about the effect it would have on everyone else. "I'm sorry," she says.

Venus shrugs and says nothing.


	18. Chapter 18

Standing in front of Beryl, Serenity feels like she is going to die. Her stare is penetrating, making Serenity painfully aware of each and every one of her flaws, and guilt threatens to overwhelm her.

Of all of the things that she has done, this is by far the hardest and by far the worst. For all of her fear, Serenity had always known that her mother would always accept her into her arms, no matter what sin she had committed, and by the time she had stood in front of Endymion's father, Endymion had already smoothed everything over, and the king had accepted their marriage. Anyone else who is discontent is sure to fall into place over time.

But with Beryl, it is different. With her, no talk of how beneficial an alliance between the Earth and the Moon is, is going to soothe her. Because with Beryl, it is personal. The simple fact is, the beginning of Serenity's relationship with Endymion is the end of Beryl's.

And when she stands in front of Beryl, she feels wretched, like the lowest of the low, and nothing can change the fact that she is the reason why Beryl is no longer getting married. The few, pathetic, stuttering words that she manages to spit out can hardly change what she has done or even begin to make up for it.

Beryl is quiet after Serenity manages to say her bit, simply staring at her and making her feel smaller and smaller by the second. Maybe, she should have listened to Endymion and not have sought out his former fiancée, but that would have been the coward's way out.

When Beryl finally does speak, all she says is, "I don't need your pity," and walks away.


	19. Chapter 19

Serenity's second wedding is as different as can be from her first. It's on the Moon, not Earth, and she's surrounded by people. Her friends, her mother, her people, but no one from Earth. The taboo over interactions between the Moon and the Earth is still too strong to break, even for this supposedly joyous event. And while she wishes that Endymion's people could be here too, she is happy.

Marrying Endymion is more than she could have ever hoped or dreamed for, but now it is happening, legitimately. This isn't a quick wedding preformed in secret, this is a state affair. Their first wedding will always be important, will always hold a special place in her heart, but there is greater meaning behind this one.

No one can ever tear them apart now.

As they finish exchanging their vows, a great crash fills the air, followed by bloodthirsty, haunting screams. Slowly, slowly she turns towards it, and she laughs a hollow laugh as she lays her eyes on the disturbance because, of course it couldn't be that easy.

They've been invaded.


	20. Chapter 20

The world dissolves into chaos. There is a roaring in Serenity's ears that makes it impossible for her to understand what anyone is saying, but she doesn't need words. It is obvious enough what has happened just by watching. These are people from Earth, and they are slaying her people.

Their wedding should have been a symbol of change, a time for Earth and the Moon to come together as one and move together towards a brighter future.

But that is impossible now because they are killing each other.

All around her, the people she has known since she was a child are fighting and killing and dying. There's Jupiter fighting valiantly, and Mercury with blood staining her clothes, Mars flanked by Deimos and Phobos, and Venus cutting down swathes of people with her sword. She doesn't know where her mother is, and she prays that she isn't dead.

Serenity is holding Endymion's hand, and she doesn't know what to do, and then Beryl, red streaming all around her, is in front of them, and she's stabbing Endymion.

Serenity screams as he falls to the ground, clutching at his chest. Weeping, she falls to her knees next to him and pulls the blade out, and it's as light as a feather as she plunges it into her chest.


	21. Chapter 21

Everything dies, she knows that. Everything _must_ die; it is the way the world works. But she isn't supposed to die today, her husband isn't supposed to die today, her people aren't supposed to die today, the Moon isn't supposed to die today. Today is supposed to be a happy, glorious, celebratory day. She's getting married again and this time she is surrounded by all of the people she loves.

But instead, she is dying. Serenity is dying, and Endymion is dying, and everyone is dying.

She tries to reach out, to take his hand again, but her arm is too heavy to move.

In that moment, she hates him. He brought this upon her, this utter destruction and devastation. If only she had hated him from the start. But she didn't.

As she lies there, taking her last few gurgling breaths, she knows that's a lie though. She never hated him, even now in these last desperate moments. She never could. She's always loved him too much to ever be able to hate him.

And that is her downfall.


	22. Chapter 22

It's a Tuesday when Serenity first visits Earth. Perhaps it's an odd detail to remember, but that's one that has stuck with her. She remembers most of that first fateful day, but for some reason, it isn't the way the wind feels blowing across her face and tugging at her hair, or how vibrant and vivid the whole planet is, or even how soft the grass is beneath her feet that stands out most vividly in her mind.

No, it's the odd little detail that it's a Tuesday and that just a few hours ago, when it was still Monday, Venus had dared her to come here.

If Venus had known that Serenity had actually planned on fulfilling the dare, she doubts that Venus would have ever done so. Not that Venus learned the truth until much later. Serenity is sure that Venus was disturbed when she discovered what her princess had been doing, and in a way, she can understand why Venus did what she did. She was trying to protect her, but Serenity never wanted to be protected from Earth.

Even when Serenity learns the full extent of Venus's meddling, she understands and she can't stay too mad her, but that doesn't mean that she can just leave behind the little paradise she has found. Earth is so alive and everything is moving and bright and new and utterly imperfect, so unlike the cold, pristine, and somewhat sterile Moon.

It is the most wonderful place she has ever been too, and Serenity has to go back, even if it is dangerous, because it isn't just the flora and fauna that captivates her.

Because if Earth is like no where she has ever been to before, Endymion is like no one she has ever met before, and she craves both more than anything else in her life.

It's a Tuesday when Serenity meets Endymion, and funnily enough, it's Tuesday when they marry which happens to be the day the Silver Millennium falls, and so, it's a Tuesday when the entire course of the galaxy is rewritten.

And it's a Tuesday when a girl called Usagi first takes up the role as Sailor Moon.


End file.
